Was crying while walking my way home from the mrt. I am frustrated, angry, jealous, sad. Its really the kind of mixed feeling. I'm so angry with myself for smsing dat. I'm sorry. I'm just being a bitch. I'm so upset for being a jealous, selfish brat.
Its juz dat i dunno how my life will be when all this start. I wouldnt noe who i will actually share my stuff with when u r not there. Nobody will care much about me. Nobody understands me as much as u do. We've known each other for how long? 8yrs? wow..i didn't noe it has been a long time.
I still remember the first time i introduce myself to you. You were outside the office, and i approached you. I tot i have found my best pal(dunno y, think its instinct) but it was soon all over to think of that when I introduced u to Mardhati. U 2 clicked so well that i was left behind. I decided to walk away, maybe you r not destined to be my best friend.
I still remember the time we exchange friends certificate during CME. Yours was so nice. I felt so touched.
I still remember how you persuade me to join NPCC but in d end, you were the one who didn't attend most of the time during sec 1. But you were active after sec 2 because we were promoted and you weren't. You won't wanna be lazy like b4.
I still remember the time we practice for campcraft competition. How we struggled under the rain.
I still remember the times when we have a crush on the same guy.
We were still frens, still classmates until the time we stayed together as classmates in sec 3. We get closer. We talk about all the stuff. Any stuff. I always stayed at yr house. Finally, you are my BESTFRIEND.
I still remember the time i sprained my ankle during a netball inter-school competition. It was our finals. You were on the other side of the court. You ran all the way to my side and help me up. I was so, so touched when u were anxious about me. I knew you are the only fren who cared that much for me.
I still remember the time when we were nervous and scared that we wont be in the same poly. About how we are going to adapt without each other for support. I was proud of you. You finally break out of yr shell and make new frens, more frens. You were different then in sec sch when you were quiet, reserve yrself from others. You were juz crazy when you were with our other close frens. I was happy. Friends were saying you have changed because of that. But the change was a gd change.
I still remember we went for Mentoring together. I pulled you coz i was interested. We had a great time together with our 2 other close frens.
I still remember how i struggle tru my projects and you were there for me when i needed comfort.
I still remember the time when i was sick. Everytime i was sick, you would accompany me to the clinic. You were always the one who was there for me.
There are so, so, many things you have done for me. Sometimes, not being appreciated by me. I'm always the stubborn one. And you always have to give in to me. When we quarrelled, you were always the one who would approach me after our silent, cold war.
I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for not being a best buddy to u. I should be happy for you instead of sad. I should have said "at last.. you made it". I should be the one encouraging you at this moment in time.
I'm sorry for not telling you face to face but in this form, coz u noe i'll cry when i say all this. I dont want to look into your eyes and say all this.
I will be happy for u. You noe i will. Don't think or ponder much about me coz i'll get over this stupid selfishness, jealousness of mine. You noe i will.
Do what you think you should. Do what you think will make you happy. Do what your heart tells you to. I'll be happy when the time has really come. When will that be? I'm waiting. ;p